Yes, you read that right. I claim that ALL marriages, as currently defined, are unconstitutional. Gay, straight, nonagenarian, octopoid, whatever. Doesn't matter, it's all unconstitutional. How did I arrive at this extreme conclusion? It's actually pretty simple: 1) The First Amendment states, in relevant part, that "Congress shall make no law regarding an establishment of religion." This is pretty straightforward. I think a lot of people misread it to say that Congress can't ...

Can it already be time for another post about some of the writing mistakes people make? I guess it can.... Today it's all about homophones. No, that's not people who sound gay when they're calling long-distance. It's words that sound alike, but are spelled differently (and, I hope obviously, have different meanings). It's not that you spelled the word wrong, it's that you spelled the wrong word. 1) undo/undue "Undo" is a verb. You undo something that was done, take it back, reve...

It was just this past Sunday when Krystal stood up for the first time. And she didn't do it at all yesterday, or the day before, that I know of. Well. Today apparently was a different story. I went to play in my ping-pong league tonight, and Ann was home alone with Krystal, hanging out and watching her CSI and Law & Order and so forth, when Krystal pulled herself up again using the coffee table. Ann ran to grab the camera in case she did it again. And she did. Ann called Krys...

So it seems like just yesterday I was writing about how Krystal finally has a tooth. Okay, maybe it seems like two days ago. But anyway! Yesterday she was playing under the ping-pong table and somehow managed to flop her arms over one of the struts and end up kind of standing up. I wasn't entirely sure if it should count as a full stand because her arms were carrying some weight as well as offering balance, but it was still impressive. Well, today she put any doubts to rest. As Ann and ...

Today (Saturday, regardless of what the post time on this article says) marks a major milestone in my baby's life so far: She's got a TOOTH! Okay, so it's only a tiny little white spot on her gum at the moment, but it's sharp as heck, lemme tell ya. And given that she's 10 months and 6 days old, we've been waiting for the appearance of this little critter for quite a while! Just this evening when we went out for dinner, we chatted with another parent whose baby has two teeth, and t...

Okay, so most of you are pretty interesting folks and you're generally fairly nice, and I enjoy reading about your lives and your thoughts on a wide variety of subjects. But as I have mentioned in a few previous articles ( "Argh! Don't SAY that!" , "How to annoy me" , and "More ways to annoy me ), sometimes you write things that are just so blatantly wrong that I have to suppress the urge to grab my taser and hunt you down. You've got to stop that, okay? Here are some more of the hideo...

Today I did something I can honestly say I never thought I would do. In a million years, the very idea of doing this thing would probably never have crossed my mind if the need for it had not stared me smack in the face as it just did a little while ago. I would be willing to wager that it's something that you have never needed to do either.... Today I dusted my vacuum cleaner.

Okay, JoeUsers, let's do a bookmark swap. We've already got space on our own blog pages to create a bookmark list, but it's usually used specifically to point to other blog sites. Well, I wanna see some of your other links. I'll go first: I like a lot of web-based comic strips and humor sites.... Sluggy Freelance User Friendly Kevin & Kell Doctor Fun PvP - Player Versus Player Spooner (Currently broken) Ozy and Millie Sinfest Penny Arcade! Krazy La...

Computerworld sends out a daily humorous e-mail about peoples' misadventures in computer support. Some are mildly amusing, some outrageously hilarious. Today's was hilarious, and it ties in to computer gaming, so I thought I'd share it with you all... Shark Tank: Sometimes the quickest solution is the best one This pilot fish is the lone IT person at a small manufacturing company. So when the music-on-hold system stops working, you know who has to deal with it. "The music-...

I mentioned in my previous blog entry here that I owned a pair of oversize black contact lenses. Since at least a minimal level of interest was displayed, here for your viewing pleasure are some pictures of me wearing those contacts. Here I am a knife fight victim. (Note the defensive cut just showing on my right forearm.) Here I'm just wearing the lenses with my most expressionless face, for maximum creepiness. In this one I am dressed as "The Host".... ...

Okay, this is actually article number 44, but I had a couple early on that were completely ignored and I meant to do this when I hit 42 anyway, so let's just all pretend that this is my 42nd article and in keeping with the grand (if somewhat irregular) tradition of making big fat lists of facts when you get to an interesting number of posts, I hereby present the following big fat list of 42 facts about me. I: 1) am left-handed to a fault. 2) am left-footed, too. 3) ...and left-eyed, ...

Here's a little reference sheet for those of you who need to give people directions on what to type... This is called: ~ twiddle ' tick ` back-tick ! bang @ at # hash $ cash ^ hat & amp * splat - dash ( and ) bananas (left and right) [ and ] brackets { and } braces wakas or angle-brackets or lit and git \ bash | pipe ? what / slash . dot Now for your further edification, I have composed a poem: @$=* ((~^ &%?##4 /'`_ +-[]|.\ {}$@*...

See, for example, This story from Reuters , which starts off: NEW YORK (Reuters) - Surveillance powers granted to the FBI under the Patriot Act, a cornerstone of the Bush Administration's war on terror, were ruled unconstitutional by a judge on Wednesday in a new blow to U.S. security policies. U.S. District Judge Victor Marreo, in the first decision against a surveillance portion of the act, ruled for the American Civil Liberties Union in its challenge against what it called "uncheck...