citahellion's Articles In Humor
November 26, 2004 by citahellion
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY GOD? Decide for yourself! Here's the evidence: They both have beards. They're both old men. They both have little helpers (elves/angels) They both perform miracles. They both know when you've been good or bad. They both reward you for goodness and punish you for badness. They both take requests (letters/prayers). Neither of them always fulfills those requests. Neither of them gives you a reason for not fulfilling them. They both operate invisibly. Yo...
November 26, 2004 by citahellion
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY GOD? Decide for yourself! Here's the evidence: They both have beards. They're both old men. They both have little helpers (elves/angels) They both perform miracles. They both know when you've been good or bad. They both reward you for goodness and punish you for badness. They both take requests (letters/prayers). Neither of them always fulfills those requests. Neither of them gives you a reason for not fulfilling them. They both operate invisibly. Yo...
November 21, 2004 by citahellion
Nathicana by H.P. Lovecraft Bar of Chocolate by Citahellion It was in the pale garden of Zais; The mist-shrouded gardens of Zais, Where blossoms the white nephalot, the redolent herald of midnight. There slumber the still lakes of crystal, and streamlets that flow without murm'ring, smooth streamlets from caverns of Kathos Where broodth the calm spirits of twilight. And over the lakes and the streamlets are bridges of pure alabaster, white bridges...
November 21, 2004 by citahellion
Nathicana by H.P. Lovecraft Bar of Chocolate by Citahellion It was in the pale garden of Zais; The mist-shrouded gardens of Zais, Where blossoms the white nephalot, the redolent herald of midnight. There slumber the still lakes of crystal, and streamlets that flow without murm'ring, smooth streamlets from caverns of Kathos Where broodth the calm spirits of twilight. And over the lakes and the streamlets are bridges of pure alabaster, white bridges...
October 4, 2004 by citahellion
This article contains Adult Content. Please click on the article Title or Read More to view its contents.
October 4, 2004 by citahellion
This article contains Adult Content. Please click on the article Title or Read More to view its contents.
September 20, 2004 by citahellion
A while ago Gideon posted a couple of poems he'd created from amusing or interesting blog titles. Well, today I noticed a couple of very amusing juxtaposed blog titles and, always being willing to steal a good idea, thought I'd have a go at making a poem of sorts out of them. This is more in line with the Exquisite Corpse style of poetry (see here for a full explanation), but I think it's quite amusing in its own little way. I took titles strictly in chronological order (at the time)...
September 20, 2004 by citahellion
A while ago Gideon posted a couple of poems he'd created from amusing or interesting blog titles. Well, today I noticed a couple of very amusing juxtaposed blog titles and, always being willing to steal a good idea, thought I'd have a go at making a poem of sorts out of them. This is more in line with the Exquisite Corpse style of poetry (see here for a full explanation), but I think it's quite amusing in its own little way. I took titles strictly in chronological order (at the time)...
September 8, 2004 by citahellion
Ever see a company targeted to such a small market segment that you couldn't believe it even existed? A long time ago some friends and I brainstormed this list of companies that we'd like to see filling in various market niches. (disclaimer: I only came up with about 15% of these myself.) Larry's Japanese Garden Removal, Inc. Peanut Butter and Okra Sandwich Stand Dental Floss Personal Tutoring Services Learning to Read Paper Tape Johnson and Phillip's Simian Removal Service ...
September 8, 2004 by citahellion
Ever see a company targeted to such a small market segment that you couldn't believe it even existed? A long time ago some friends and I brainstormed this list of companies that we'd like to see filling in various market niches. (disclaimer: I only came up with about 15% of these myself.) Larry's Japanese Garden Removal, Inc. Peanut Butter and Okra Sandwich Stand Dental Floss Personal Tutoring Services Learning to Read Paper Tape Johnson and Phillip's Simian Removal Service ...
September 3, 2004 by citahellion
So in one of my other posts ( here ) I talked about the Exquisite Corpse, and how the poems "by" him are actually created. Here now for your viewing pleasure is a poem by the Exquisite Corpse, courtesy of a variety of JoeUser regulars!     Penal Implants in the Penile Colony It is long past time for it to begin: Do you want me to sing you a song? It's a hillbilly song. and once upon a darkling night a backwards goat did ride... I suck and have nothing to offe...
September 3, 2004 by citahellion
So in one of my other posts ( here ) I talked about the Exquisite Corpse, and how the poems "by" him are actually created. Here now for your viewing pleasure is a poem by the Exquisite Corpse, courtesy of a variety of JoeUser regulars!     Penal Implants in the Penile Colony It is long past time for it to begin: Do you want me to sing you a song? It's a hillbilly song. and once upon a darkling night a backwards goat did ride... I suck and have nothing to offe...
August 31, 2004 by citahellion
Here's another old poem from the Exquisite Corpse. This one was created 10 years ago today.... Seven E's and an L Don't forget the Windex. Somehow, somewhere, it always happens again Yo, Larry! Grab me a Point! a quarter of your life, wiped away.... The cheese sailed across the room And sparks flew as lice from their heated loins. Do you know what I'm thinking? Bananas, falling like rain Send your own line of poetry to the new Exquisite Corpse! Do i...
August 31, 2004 by citahellion
Here's another old poem from the Exquisite Corpse. This one was created 10 years ago today.... Seven E's and an L Don't forget the Windex. Somehow, somewhere, it always happens again Yo, Larry! Grab me a Point! a quarter of your life, wiped away.... The cheese sailed across the room And sparks flew as lice from their heated loins. Do you know what I'm thinking? Bananas, falling like rain Send your own line of poetry to the new Exquisite Corpse! Do i...
August 19, 2004 by citahellion
This article contains Adult Content. Please click on the article Title or Read More to view its contents.